I've come to believe that, assuming they existed which they blatantly didn't, Adam and Eve probably deserved to be thrown out of Eden. Given their human nature, humans 1 and 2, respectively, they probably defecated on the tree before going scrumping and then chopped it up to make a life size model of an ant army. Because that's what everyone would do if left to their own devices. God was an idiot to expect anything else quite frankly.
I wonder every day how people get through their lives with the crushing guilt from the shitty way they act to themselves, others, the environment, community, the partners and life in general. I feel guilt for forgetting which bin I should food waste in. How can other people not for throwing cigarette butts willy and nilly? For invading personal space? For wasting food? For invading personal space? It's a concept I struggle with. Always.
But I remain happy. Mostly. I'm happy with me. I'm happy with how I act and that's what matters. My actions are positive. My karma is what I do; your karma is how you act and that's your fucking problem mate. I'm gonna be God in the next life and if I have my way you'll be a new species of dung beetle that can only survive by begging to be allowed to eat human shit. As Batman says, and in these cases Batman should always be referred to for wisdom, crazy violent warmongering vigilante that he is: it's what we do that defines us. Or in my case what we do that makes up for that thing we did but can never actually eclipse it. So, quite literally people are children. People are selfish. People are worthy of being immolated. Is that really how you want to be remembered? Does it make you feel good? It makes me feel like shite so god knows what it does to you.
I realised this morning I'd still be happy to die tomorrow. Three months of enlightened living and I still get sad when I look at the world and try to work out my place in it. Even here where there's little more to worry about than whether today's the day I fall in the compost toilet the overall shitty attitudes of people beggar my belief and makes me wonder why I bother hanging around. Oh, I know: it's so I can see Maccu Piccu. And northern India. And Patra and the pyramids (gonna be shit). In the meantime I look around me and see things that make me sad and despair. Should I distance myself? Should I live the lonely life or should I lower my standards? Maybe I need to stop being so dramatic and accept people aren't perfect. Which is a fallacy because, I am. Obviously.