Imagine a knife. A dull knife. Imagine your an ant on the relatively blunt blade. On one side is insanity. On the other sanity. Now imagine you're wearing a blindfold and you're being spun and spun and spun. You take the blindfold off. Which side is which?
You take your usual landmarks (what people say, what they do, what you feel to be right) but something isn't quite right. The landmarks don't line up. You know A to be true, cast-iron and without doubt, but someone says B. You trust that someone with your life, you love them and would protect them in everything yet they insist you're wrong.
So you get a plan. This is the way to know which side of the knife lies sanity. And then it turns out that person wasn't actually paying attention and didn't care. So how can what they said be trusted?
And while all this is going on the knife is getting sharper and you're sinking into the blade. Make a choice! And jump! Such pressure....
So you stay on the blade, walking it's length looking for signs, and it starts to hurt as the blade pushes further into you but you can't make choice, it's safer on the blade but eventually you'll run out of blade.
Such is my life.